January / February 2006 Vol. 2 No.1
The State of Men in America
Foundations for the Battle for Men's Souls™
Patrick Morley
Nick, who was in
his late 30s, said, "When I got out of school I made a list of
everything I thought I would need to be happy. Now it's fifteen
years later and I have everything on my list, but I'm still not
happy. I have just realized I made up the wrong list."
There are
98,000,000 men in America eighteen years of age and older. What do
they want? How are they doing?
WHAT MEN WANT
Pascal said, "All
men seek happiness. This is without exception. This is the motive of
every action of every man, even those who hang themselves." Only a
fool wouldn't want to be happy.
How do men go
about finding happiness? After working with men for 28 years, I see
three universal "wants" that propel men's efforts to be happy.
First, we want
something we can give our lives to-a mission or cause. This is the
need to be significant, to make a difference, that our lives will
count, that it will matter we lived. No man wants to be a shooting
star that streaks across the sky one night, then disappears.
Second, we want
someone to share it with. This is the need to love and be loved, to
be part of a community, to find acceptance.
Third, we want a
"system" that offers a reasonable explanation for why 1 and 2 are so
difficult. Frederick Taylor, the father of Scientific Management,
said, "Your system is perfectly designed to produce the result you
are getting." What he meant was that if you manufacture cars and
every third car rolls off the assembly line missing a front right
fender, your system is perfectly designed to produce that result.
Belief systems also "perfectly" produce predictable results. (click
here for complete article)
“Building a Sustainable Men’s Ministry”
“CREATE VALUE”
by Gary Yagel
After a men’s
leadership team has been established, equipped, and asked to
evaluate the current condition of men in the congregation, the team
needs to lay out a three-part strategy for the ministry to 1) plan
an event that has value
for men, 2) capture the momentum
gained from that event, and 3)
sustain the change achieved by the event. (click
to order the Men’s Ministry Action Plan)
For example, the
team might decide to host a Great Dads seminar. This
event has value to men
because it appeals to the need felt by most men to become better
fathers. It identifies 6 basic Biblical principles of fathering,
then helps dads see that they can’t follow those principles apart
from Christ’s help. This Saturday morning seminar would then be
followed up by a 6 week study for guys who wanted to review the six
basic principles presented and focus on implementing them in their
own lives. This would be a plan to
capture the momentum
created by the Great Dads seminar. From the men who participated in
the six week study, there might immerge a group of men who see the
value of being in a weekly study throughout the year. Helping them
establish this year-round study would then be an example of
sustaining change.
The first challenge
in having an effective men’s ministry is to overcome the inertia of
men. Pat Morley points out that the launch of the space shuttle
takes five hundred thousand gallons of liquid fuel which is consumed
in 8.5 minutes. Then the shuttle travels another four million miles
on a little bucket of fuel. It takes a lot of energy to overcome
inertia!
This principle
translates into the planning of events for men that have high value
for them. Most men will not attend a monthly Saturday breakfast
just because they are invited to do so. They are much more likely
to attend well done, quarterly events that provide practical
benefits to them in their walk with Christ.
When Christian men
have been asked to identify those areas of their spiritual lives
where they most need help, these are the top six needs they list.
-
Help with
sexual issues (by far, men identify lust as their number one
struggle)
-
Help overcoming
anger
-
Help being more
focused and organized in their spiritual lives
-
Help with the
spiritual disciplines
-
Help being a
godly husband
-
Help being a
godly father and being the spiritual leader at home
Providing Biblical
teaching and opportunity for men to discuss these issues is
foundational in men’s ministry. Men value practical, Biblical
teaching that meets them where they are struggling However, Biblical
teaching is not the only activity that men value. Men want
opportunities to be with
other men for recreation. And they are more than willing to
use their hands to serve in a way that gets them shoulder to
shoulder with other men. A great “target” structure for a year of
church-wide men’s ministry might be a breakfast seminar one quarter,
a male-oriented recreation event the next quarter, an outreach
breakfast seminar the next quarter followed by a well done work day
or service project the last quarter.
There is no, “one
size fits all” program in men’s ministry. The principle is that to
overcome the inertia of most men, the ministry team needs to plan
high value events that address their perceived needs and are done
well.
How
to Reach Men on the "Fringe" Trough Your Church
by
Patrick M. Morley
Wanted: Man with an arrow through his heart to reach men on the
"fringe". Experience not necessary, but must sense a "calling" or
"leading" from God to love spiritually needy men. One (or more) of
these spiritual gifts required: service, administration, leadership,
faith, wisdom, teaching, evangelism, shepherding, or encouragement.
Good people skills a must. Will customize job description to suit
calling and gifting. Can't be angry at men because they're not more
spiritual. Senior pastor's support mandatory.
Men on the "Fringe"
Picture a man
zooming 70 miles per hour down an expressway toward the catacombs of
commerce. Another just like him loom 50 feet off his front bumper,
and still another hangs 30 feet behind him. He glances left, then
right, and sees other men just like him. This man will fit into one
of four categories,
He thinks he has
arrived and that the rat race is terrific.
He's just starting to wonder if he's running in the right race.
For some time he has had a lingering feeling something isn't quite
right about his life.
He has hit the wall.
Would you do me a favor? In the blank spaces above write the names
of two or three men you know in each category.
Men on the fringe
are hurting. They are tired of running the rat race. Their energy
has been depleted. Their marriages are rocky. Their children are
preoccupied. Their finances are in disarray. They are thinking, " Is
this all there is? There must to be more to life than this. There's
got to be!"
Men on the fringe
are either barely inside or just outside the door of the church.
Biblically, these men have let the worries of this life and the
deceitfulness of money choke the word and make it unfruitful (
Matthew 13:22); they've let the yeast of culture work through the
whole batch of dough (Galatians 5:9); they've done that which is
permissible but not beneficial (1Corinthians 6:12); they're high
risk for a great crash because they built on sand and not the rock.
(Matthew 7: 24-27).
Often men like
this are what Os Guiness has called "the undiscipled disciple". They
have not fully yielded their lives to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
Their world view tends to be a jumbled concoction of ideas cherry
picked from church, television, Business Week, positive thinking
seminars, and the Harvard Business School (the technical term for
this is syncretism).
Men on the fringe
are tired. They have a lingering feeling something isn't quite right
about their lives. Their lives are not turning out like they
planned. They are coming unglued. They don't feel like anyone really
cares about them-personally. They are achieving their goals but
success doesn't satisfy.
These men are
cultural Christians. They practice "spare tire" Christianity. They
merely add Jesus to their calendars as another interest in an
already busy schedule. Their lives are shaped more by the herds of
commerce than the footsteps of Christ. They are disciples of Wall
Street, not Church Street.
Here's the
question: How will your church reach these men? (press
here to continue article)
Around
the PCA
Rob Fensterer is a man with a real
passion for reaching and discipling men. He has recently completed
his internship with Ivy Creek Church in Lawrenceville, GA and served
as the organizer and leader of Ivy Creek’s men’s ministry the
“Ironworks.” Men get together on Friday for an event called
“Firstwatch” for breakfast with a media presentation while they eat
for 20 minutes. Then there is a devotional time for 20 minutes, and
that is followed by table fellowship for 20 minutes. This is a good
side entrance for men to get acquainted with one another and with
the church.
On Wednesday nights or some other
convenient time they have a program called “Firm in the Faith” which
offers an opportunity for those who wish to go deeper in their
studies of God’s Word. This is where men can be discipled and have
some accountability with one another.
One other main feature of their men’s
ministry is a monthly event with different activities that men
enjoy. This is for social and friendship development, it can involve
ballgames, biking, paintball, hiking, cookouts, you name it.
Recently, a new Men’s Ministry
Leadership council has been formed to steer “The Ironworks” and
increase the impact of men’s ministry within the church as well as
within the broader community.
This has been a ministry that has
grown over the past year and proving to develop men in their support
of one another as they face the issues of marriage, work, parenting
and ministry. Whether men are spending time together on a paintball
field, at a tailgating event, shooting hoops together or praying
together around the table, relationships and discipleship are the
key focus for “The Ironworks”
Contact information:
Robert Fensterer
404-488-2422
RobertFensterer@Bellsouth.net
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