“Building a Sustainable Men’s Ministry”
“Sustain Change”
by Gary Yagel
In past issues
of “Get In the Game” we mentioned that thousands of men’s
ministry teams across the nation have been helped to evaluate and
plan men’s ministry events by using the above diagram. By “create
value” we mean to overcome the inertia of men by offering
them a program that they find valuable. To capture
momentum is to move towards life-change through an
intentional plan to build upon the momentum created by the
planned event. To sustain change means helping men
build habits of holiness.
For in depth
information about how to create value, go to the
Jan/Feb 2006 issue
of Get in the Game The article about capturing
momentum and the focus of this article is Sustaining
Change.
It’s been said
that a message prepared in the head reaches a head, but that a
message prepared in a life reaches a life. The most powerful way
to sustain change in men’s ministry is for men to be impacted by the
lives of other men. This is done in three primary ways.
1. By modeling.
The example set by the men’s ministry leadership team has far more
power to change men’s lives than any of the programs they plan. Men
don’t follow programs, they follow men. I hope that this is very
encouraging for those who are in small and medium sized churches.
You may not have the resources to put on the slick men’s programs
that larger churches can, but you have something far more
powerful—the visibility of your men’s ministry team modeling the
principles of being godly, sold-out followers of Christ.
In our ministry,
we help churches get their men better connected through a booklet
called Forging Bonds of Brotherhood. I know that I can go to
a church, get the men fired up, and give them the booklet to help
them forge brotherhood bonds. But what will determine the
lasting impact of this ministry is what the leadership team models.
If they are in brotherhood relationships for encouragement, support,
and accountability—our ministry has a lasting impact. However, if
this is new to the leadership team, we are more effective if we wait
until the leaders are modeling the principles before we visit a
church.
Assuming a role
as a “model” Christian may seem presumptuous and a bit daunting.
But, remember that modeling is not about perfection; it is about
direction. It is going hard after obedience. But we need always to
be creating a climate of grace in our men’s ministry. We all have
the disease of sin—and all of us have more failures than successes.
Being real about those failures is often more motivating to our men
than sharing our successes.
2. By shaping men’s events so that a brother or two is
asked to share his story.
If the topic is having a daily time with God, have a man who has
pressed through failure and had some consistency in his devotional
life share his story. If a speaker gives a great message on
tithing—have some guys with great stories share what they went
through learning to give God the first-fruits. If you have a man in
the group who led someone to the Lord recently, have him tell the
story. If you know that a particular brother does a good job of
praying with his wife—let him humbly share his struggles to do this
and what the benefits have been.
Men often feel
like failures in their spiritual lives. It is encouraging them to
hear that other men struggle, too—that they are not the only ones.
We also tend to lower the bar on some issues because we get so
discouraged that we give up. But, hearing of a brother’s successes
re-motivates us. Iron does sharpen iron.
A central part
of the post-modern culture in which we live is the concept of living
out and telling our story. This is a modern day discovery of an
ancient Biblical principle—that sharing testimonies builds one
another up. So, be intentional about having guys tell their stories
at men’s events.
3. By men connecting with other men. A third implication of the principle that lasting change
results from lives being impacted by lives is that men need
connection with other men at the level of the soul. A man who does
not have this connection is like a log that is taken out of
the fireplace. His spiritual fire begins to cool. When he is
discouraged, he needs to bump up beside a friend who is fired up,
and when he is fired up, some other brother needs that spark to
ignite his passion for Christ. When men commit to relationships
with a few friends who regularly discuss what is happening at the
level of their soul, the fire burns and lives change.
When Jesus calls
us to be his disciple, he does not merely call us into a vertical
relationship with himself. He did not meet alone with Peter for
breakfast Monday morning, Andrew Tuesday morning, and John Wednesday
morning. His call to them was also to be part of a band of
brothers. It was a call into horizontal relationships with other
believers as well as a vertical relationship with him. Jesus’
greenhouse for growing disciples was a band of brothers. We
impoverish ourselves, our loved ones, and our churches, when we fail
to follow his example.
"Sustainability" - The Number 1 Problem in Men's Ministry
from Pat Morley
April 2004
Volume 73
"Sustainability" easily ranks as the #1 challenge to
men's ministry. For lack thereof, many churches-even entire
denominations-have quit trying. For many that still have a men's
ministry "on the books," it has become an albatross around the
pastor's neck. How are you doing? It doesn't have to be that way.
For the next few weeks I'll present two strategies per week to help
sustain momentum in your men's ministry..
Change Leadership's Perception About the Size of Your
Men's Ministry:
You can
sustain momentum by raising the perceived "size" of your church's
men's ministry. Which ministries get the most resources? The ones
perceived to produce
the greatest impact. How many men do you have in your church? Count
them. That's the size of your men's ministry! Help your pastors,
elders, deacons, and program directors understand that if you have
100 men, then the size of your men's ministry = 100. Think big! Talk
up the category of
"all-inclusive" men's ministry. Help leadership see that
your men's ministry is much
bigger than they've been thinking.
Don't think of your men's ministry as a small group of your
most committed men. Six men meeting on Wednesday morning at 6:30
a.m. does not a men's ministry make. Instead, think of men's
ministry as "everything we do in our church that affects men." Have
a plan to disciple every willing man in the church
- ushers, parkers,
choir, Sunday school teachers, elders, deacons and pew warmers
-right where they are.
This is a change of worldview, so you will have to hammer away at
this many, many times. But the more leadership sees the importance
of discipling every willing man in the church, the more support and,
therefore, sustainability, your efforts will produce.
Offer Intentional Content:
Sustain
momentum by scratching where men really itch. If you offer the right
discipleship content, men will come. What's right? Imagine you will
have a man and his family for, say, 5 years. What are the lessons so
important that if he should leave without getting them, you will
have failed him? This, then, becomes the content of your
discipleship program.
Volume 74
Last week I mentioned that for several weeks I would pass along
ideas to help "sustain momentum" in your men's ministry. Here are
two more..
Challenge leadership to model what
you're trying to create: Sustain momentum by helping your leadership
team become to each other what you want your men to become. Tom
Skinner said, "We must become the live demonstration of the kingdom
of Christ so that anytime someone wants to know what is going on in
heaven, all they have to do is check with us." Don't just be a
committee, but pray, study, fellowship, and care for each other. In
other words, model what you want to build. If the leadership team
models authentic relationships, in due time men will see that and
want to be part of it. Also, it is doubtful if you can ever sustain
momentum among men if the leaders can't sustain momentum among
themselves. A good credo: "Let's become to each other what we are
asking are men to become."
Coordinate disciple-making methods :
Sustain momentum by picking a theme (whether for a week, a month, or
the year), then focus your entire church on that theme. The "means"
to make disciples include preaching, teaching, Bible studies, small
groups, private devotions, mentoring, seminars, retreats, informal
discussions, and leadership training. The 40 Days of Purpose program
has shown just how effective it can be to point all the arrows in
the same direction. A theme is like river banks-it helps define the
direction and velocity of growth in the church.
Volume 75
Here are the 5th and 6th ideas about how to sustain momentum and
change in your men's ministry. Click here to see the other ideas on
sustainability.
A System: Reach new men by repeating
the cycle: Because the roller coaster is biblically normative (the
principle of the parable of the sower versus command to make
disciples), build a system that periodically "starts over" to reach
other men who may be ready now, but not then. Be careful to select
the right system, because if you pick the wrong one you won't know
it for several years. By the time you figure it out, you will have
burned out your best leaders. After that it will take a few years
for a new group to be willing to give it a shot. And then a few more
years to build momentum. Basically, picking the wrong system can
blow off up to a decade of your ministry. Man in the Mirror's
"Create, Capture, and Sustain" model can show you how to build a
sustainable men's ministry system. Click here for more information
about the Leadership Training Center or click here to order the
Men's Ministry Action Plan .
Service: Send your men who are ready
to serve (but not before) or you will lose them to someone who will:
Sustain what you have by sending your men out. Once a man has grown
to a point that he has a grateful heart, he will want to serve his
Lord. He is no disciple who never wants to serve Christ. On the
other hand, until a man has enough Jesus for himself, don't ask him
to give away what he himself lacks. Challenge your disciples to
reach out and disciple other men. A disciple is called, equipped,
and sent - called to walk with Christ (evangelism), equipped to live
like Christ (teaching), and sent to work for Christ (service). "This
is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing
yourselves to be my disciples" (John 15:8). Unless you send him you
will stunt his growth - he will become a spiritual dwarf. Besides, a
men's ministry that doesn't send men is a "closed" system that has
entropy built into it.
Volume 76
Here are the 7th and 8th ideas about how to sustain momentum and
change in your men' s ministry. Click here to see the other ideas on
sustainability.
Interdisciplinary: Foster
interdisciplinary cooperation: Sustain you men's ministry by meeting
periodically with all the other ministry program or department
heads-women's ministry, children's ministry, youth ministry,
seniors, Christian education, and so on. Suggest an
"Interdisciplinary Discipleship Council"-an IDC-that meets bimonthly
or quarterly. The more you know about each other's plans, the better
total church planning you all can do together. Also, the visibility
for men's ministry will create respect for the need to disciple men
and the impact discipled men can have on the rest of the family
members and church.
Expectations: Manage the expectations
of the leadership team (and your own): Are you frustrated that you
want men to succeed more than they do themselves? That's a formula
for leadership dropout. Don't expect more than the Bible promises.
Expect men to drop out. Expect men to drop away every time you ask
for deeper levels of commitment. Why? Because the command to make
disciples is juxtaposed against the principle of the parable of the
sower. In other words, as you go along some of the seed is snatched
away, some withers, and some gets choked by life's riches and
worries. Part of sustaining momentum is not expecting too much. You
wouldn't eat 5 pounds of food and expect to gain 5 pounds. Neither
should we expect a man to hear "the 10 things every Godly man
believes" and completely "get it." The roller coaster is normative.
On the other hand, don't expect less than the Bible promises. John
3:16, 1 Timothy 1:15, Luke 19:10, Matthew 13:24, John 15:8, John
14:12. The problem is not that our plans are too big, but too small.
Raise expectations. Educate leadership (and yourself) about what's
really going on. There is a spiritual battle raging in the cosmos
for the souls of your men. The secular symptoms we see like neglect,
divorce, and working too much are spiritual casualties of war. God
wants us to build Christ's kingdom. This a battle we can win-that we
are going to win. We must not, we cannot and, by God's grace, we
will not fail.
Volume 77
Here are the 9th and 10th ideas about how to sustain momentum and
change in your men's ministry. Click here to see the other ideas on
sustainability.
Intergenerational: Create an emphasis
on intergenerational ministry: Many youth workers now believe that
the age segregation (therefore isolation) of our youth into
traditional youth ministry over the last century may have been a
horrible mistake. Almost 9 out of 10 teenagers will drop out of
church by the end of their senior year in high school, and only 5
will return - 40% permanently drop out. Sustain momentum among your
men by creating rites of passage that connect men and boys through
sports, recreational activity, and small groups. I wrote The Young
Man in the Mirror for a spiritually mature adult to take a group of
high school boys through a rite of passage into manhood. Psalm
78:2-7 says,
"I will utter hidden things, things
from of old - what we have heard and known, what our fathers have
told us. We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the
next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and
the wonders he has done. He decreed statutes for Jacob and
established the law in Israel , which he commanded our forefathers
to teach their children, so the next generation would know them,
even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their
children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not
forget his deeds but would keep his commands."
As you can see, creating an
intergenerational transfer of spiritual wealth is part of God's
order, and a powerful way to sustain ministry to men, young and old.
A Shepherd Model: Recruit "shepherds"
rather than "teachers" to lead small groups: After running the Man
in the Mirror Men's Bible Study here in Orlando for 18 years, we
have discovered a simple truth: Men respond to the gospel when they
feel like you really care about them personally. This means the men
don't need a teacher as much as they need a shepherd. At a church of
5,000 in California the Men's Minister, Wes Brown, (yes, full time)
experienced a quantum leap in ministry effectiveness when he changed
his leadership model from "teaching" to "shepherding." In the
beginning he recruited "teachers" to lead his small groups. Success
was modest. After 11 years he had 137 men in small groups. Then he
realized that what his men really needed was someone who cared about
them.personally. He changed to a "shepherd" model and exploded to
750 men in just 4 years - a 550% increase! Give it some thought..
Volume 78 Wrap Up
Over the last 5 weeks we've covered 10 ideas to sustain momentum.
Now I'd like you to do two things for me. First, write me with
something you have done that has sustained momentum and change at
patrickmorley@maninthemirror.org Second, take the
following quiz to see where you can increase the sustain part of
your ministry to men..
Rate your church on each of these ten
ideas (1 = always, 2 = often, 3 = sometimes, 4 = little or never)
___ 1. All-Inclusive: We changed our
church's perception of men's ministry.
___ 2. Relevant: We offer intentional
content.
___ 3. Model: Our leadership team
models what we're trying to create.
___ 4. Focus: We coordinate
disciple-making methods around the same theme.
___ 5. A System: We reach new men by
repeating the cycle.
___ 6. Service: We send our men who
are ready to serve (but not before).
___ 7. Interdisciplinary: We foster
interdisciplinary cooperation with other ministries.
___ 8. Expectations: We manage the
expectations of the leadership team.
___ 9. Intergenerational: We
emphasize the intergenerational transfer of spiritual wealth.
___ 10. A Shepherd Model: We recruit
"shepherds" (vs. "teachers") to lead small groups.
PCA
Men’s Ministry News
Pete Alwinson, the Sr. Pastor of Willow Creek PCA in Winter Park, FL
has designed a seminar in conjunction with his work with Steve Brown
of Key Life, entitled “Dangerous Freedom.” (For more info
click
www.keylife.org.) He led this seminar at Faith Presbyterian in
Watkinsville, GA recently with 93 men in attendance from Faith and
two sister PCA churches.
Faith ‘s men’s ministry leader, Harvey Kirkpatrick, says, “Pete
connects well with men. His talking and presentation style is
peppered with humor, honesty, and straight-forward language to which
men relate well. Pete's background sets his persona smack in the
middle of most men's experiences. Therefore, when Pete speaks from
his past experiences as a boy, man, pastor, and sinner-saint he has
the men's attention.”
Pete uses the “dangerous freedom” metaphor to help men
get a vision for their purpose in life of being "dangerous" for God
and His kingdom by overcoming the pagan codes of manhood we
construct on our own as men without Christ. The doctrines of grace
are applied in looking at our new identity in Christ as an antidote
for the 12 "prisons" that men get locked into without Christ or by
biblical illiteracy or misapplication.
Kirkpatrick continues, “We had a range of men in ages, both
chronologically and spiritually, and all seem to have benefited
well. There is plenty of content in the seminar, and one certainly
wants to find time and space to utilize the discussion times well.
This seminar is especially valuable on a retreat where time and
space are plentiful.”
Pete also follows the principle of capturing momentum,
so he has designed a 6 week follow up group study for men who want
to look further into the material and discuss it with each other.
As a follow up to the retreat, Faith has 8 groups of men meeting
with each other at various times of the week in follow-up small
groups.
Please let us know what is working in your men’s ministry by email
me,
gyagel@familybuildersinc.org
