Discipline and guilt: Another Look at the Problem Child

There are lots of issues related to discipline in the classroom. Here’s one that’s seldom mentioned.

Some years ago, I helped put on a day camp as part of a Mission to the World project in Fairmont WV. One morning, two boys got into a fight with one ripping off the shirt of the other. I pulled them apart and one began screaming at me “you can do whatever you want. You can’t hurt me. I don’t care. Go on, send me home!”

I took him aside and began to talk, asking him what was going on. He said that his father had left. His mother was dying of cancer. He was afraid he was going to have to live with his older brother and his brother’s girlfriend. He didn’t see any other option.

With all of those circumstances, his outburst was understandable. Some boys in that situation would close down, maybe even drop out. Because this boy chose to act out, it was much easier to discover the problem.

I suggest that both guilt and fear were at work. Obviously he was afraid of the future. He had been rejected by his father, was losing his mother and would be set adrift. Guilt has to do with punishment, so it’s not a big leap to say that he felt guilty. Fear and guilt are present in those who feel inferior. In some instances, that results in acting out: “I’ll prove to you that I’m somebody.”

If that is the dynamic, understanding will go much further than punishment and will open the way to present the gospel and affirm the person’s intrinsic worth.

Robert Edmiston 
Training Coordinator, CE&P

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