Dr.
Pete Alwinson is Senior Pastor at Willow Creek Church, PCA in the
Central Florida Presbytery.
Men’s Ministry: An Indispensable
Focus for the Church
Dr. Pete
Alwinson
“Men: You
can’t live with them and you can’t shoot them.” This bumper
sticker glared back at me, as I pulled up to a stop light in
Orlando one day. “Now that’s one ticked off lady” was my
first thought. My second thought was: “I wonder what her story
is. What did she experience from men? Neglect? Abuse? Anger? Who
hurt her? Dad, brother, neighbor boy, boyfriend, husband,
grandfather?” Could have been one or two, or all.
For many women,
this bumper sticker expresses their true emotions and constitutes
absolute, unalterable, infinite, infallible truth: men are to
blame for the problems in their lives. Changing a line from my
friend Pat Morley, many women only know enough about men to be
disappointed in them. The fact is many women are full of rage
toward the men in their lives, and therefore, men in general.
Justifiably so.
Flip through a newspaper any day of the year and you’ll find
that most of the perpetrators of family and societal crimes and
misdemeanors are men. Men statistically commit more crimes of all
types than women. Men are the causes of so many problems in
American culture that if we help men we help our country.
Transform men and you’ll transform the world. I believe that a
church will never grow beyond the spirituality of its men. Look
around at churches that are effectively carrying out the Great
Commission and you’ll see many men deeply involved in that
church, men who are growing spiritually and providing leadership.
Advantages
of Ministry to Men
It’s time for
us as a denomination to move more consciously and deliberately
into discipling men. Here are some advantages for pastors and
churches, which emphasize developing their men:
We glorify God by
developing men: The early Church Father Irenaeus said,
“The glory of God is a man fully alive.” That is true of men
and women of course, but in our world seems especially potent with
men. When a man understands his actions and their motivations, but
by God’s grace doesn’t remain stuck in his unproductive
ways, that gets his attention. Many men would love to move out of
their immaturity and immorality, but they don’t know how. Since
their own fathers did not consciously develop them, they don’t
know how to live and relate as a mature man, much less know what
defines a man. Often they get their idea of manhood from a
dysfunctional earthly father, movies, TV characters or friends. A
Christian man, however, can care for and befriend another man and
point him to a gracious and good Father. When men “get it” in
their soul that Christ connects them to the Father and the Father
wants to build His sons, these undeveloped men grow like wildfire,
bringing glory to God in their homes, communities, churches and
world. After speaking at a men’s gathering recently, I talked
with who shared his story: a work addiction, an affair, financial
success, a near divorce, brokenness, repentance, and now
investment in lives. This man illustrates the glory of God! I want
my sons to meet him to let the glory seep into them.
We fulfill our mission:
Which of course is the Great Commission. When a local church knows
how to reach out to and develop men, it will gain huge momentum in
reaching men inside and outside our churches. Eventually, their
wives and children and extended family follow. Churches that
understand the strains and stresses of men in their community can
come up with their own ways to reach men. We can pursue the Great
Commission without a programmatic approach to men’s ministry. In
fact, to reach men, you must have a relational approach. Churches
can each develop their own special niche in reaching men and
helping churches grow.
Discipling men flows out
of and helps us fulfill our Biblical polity. I love being
a Presbyterian pastor in a denomination that takes seriously the
development of elders. As a church planter, the first thing I did
in our church was start a men’s discipleship group and begin to
pour energy into men. I have developed all of our elders and
deacons over the years, and in the process, become friends and
co-laborers with those men with whom I would serve. Instead of
experiencing adversarial relationships with elders as many pastors
experience, my experience here has been enjoyable (though not
perfect, of course). Developing men is what we, as the PCA, ought
to be experts in doing. Developing men is central to our heritage
and our biblical and theological convictions. We must develop men
to follow Jesus’ model and revelation of true manhood, in head
and heart.
Developing men
encourages, supports and retains pastors. A friend who
serves in a national ministry to churches tells me that 2,000
pastors a month leave the ministry, and many never return. Pastors
regularly experience relational overload and production demand
fatigue (every seven days, a new sermon needs to be at least as
good as the week before). Leadership demands more than our
training provided. Sin is our business, but so many people today
come from broken homes and are dysfunctional. They bring their
issues into congregational life and pastors have to deal with
those VDP (Very Draining People, as Gordon MacDonald titled them).
Pastors are in more pain than they let on and than their
congregation knows. We’re public people who are critiqued,
criticized and demanded of as much or more as we are loved,
encouraged and supported. I’ll tell you what has helped me stay
in the church I started for seventeen years: the men I discipled
and trained who became my friends, officers, and mighty men who
stood by me through the normal (but often challenging) times of
being a pastor. Pastors who make developing men central to their
ministry will find that they will be able to weather the storms of
ministry better.
An assured productive use
of time. When churches develop men, they will reap good
results, and a pastor is assured that his investment will pay off
for the church and kingdom goals.
Strategy
How do we build
men’s ministry in our local churches? Pastors ought to focus on
developing men by delegating some of the normal pastor work to
other staff and gifted members. Intentional effort from the top is
crucial. In terms of church wide men’s ministry, I know of no
better strategic model than that advocated by Man in the Mirror,
founded by long time PCA member Patrick Morley (see the next
article). Many of the top management of MIM are PCA members and
graduates of Reformed seminaries. Developing a strategic alliance
with MIM would be a great idea.
I think the
greatest days of the PCA are ahead. More than ever our culture
needs men who have been consciously developed and developed well.
A man will never reach true manhood without a personal
relationship with the living God, through Jesus Christ, who models
perfect manhood and deity. So, let’s do it! Let’s develop men,
reach families, build churches, win the lost, and change the
world. Let’s take men’s ministry to heart.
(PART TWO)
The Six Habits of Spiritually
Happy Men
Patrick
Morley
I’ve
been meeting with men to talk about where they are on their
spiritual pilgrimage for over three decades. Many of those men
exude a contagious joy and contentment. Their lives are peaceable,
orderly, and recommend Christ. They’re downright happy!
Most
of these happy men exercise six spiritual habits that keep them
“abiding in Christ.” The dictionary says a habit
is, “an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it
has become almost involuntary.”
These
six habits are no litmus test that you can use to judge a man’s
walk with Christ. That would be extremely dangerous. These habits
create no special merit with Christ. They do nothing to improve a
man’s record with Jesus. They are, however, indicators or
“clues” of a deeper commitment to live by faith and make a
difference in the world.
The
six habits of spiritually happy men are:
- They
read the Bible regularly. They love God’s word,
and want to regularly read and meditate on the Bible.
- They
pray with their wives. This symbolizes a depth of
relationship with God and his wife.
- They
tithe. I’ve never known a man who tithed who was
not happy.
- They
are in a small group. They are personally
vulnerable and seek to be held accountable by other men. This
group might be with a few men, or only one other man. It might
meet for Bible study, discussion, fellowship, prayer, or a
combination.
- They
are active in a church. Active involvement is the
overflow of a deeper work that Christ is doing in a man’s
heart.
- They
are serving the Lord. They have a passion that
their lives will make a difference in the world. They pursue a
life of significance. They view everything as serving the
Lord.
I
certainly don’t mean to imply that these are the only six habits
that reveal the depth of a man’s walk with Christ. Nevertheless,
those of us who are leaders would do well to practice and
encourage our men to practice these six habits. The change of
heart that underlies the visible habits can change the course of a
man’s life and family lineage for generations to come.
Together
in the Battle for Men's Souls,
Pat Morley
Back
to Equip
|
March
2005 Welcome
