No one has to tell me how busy they
are as parents in this cyber/new millennium age. Two income homes
are now the commonly acceptable and necessary economic structure
of many Christian homes. The increasingly fragmented family
finds it almost impossible to set aside any time for family
fellowship let alone family worship. To have a meal together is
now a cherished event reserved more for holidays and seldom seen
during the week as conflicting schedules leave us with
microwaved suppers and exhausted parents and children.
This environment presents the
idea of family devotions as an anachronism from another “little
house on the prairie” era of fireside family discussions.
However, if one goes back to Bible-believing pastors who were
concerned by the lack of “family worship” in their congregations
in the mid-nineteenth century, here is what you would hear:
Along with Sabbath observance and
the catechizing of children, family worship has lost ground.
There are many heads of families, communicants in our churches,
and according to a scarcely credible report, some ruling elders
and deacons, who maintain no stated daily service of God in
their dwellings. Thoughts On Family Worship by James W.
Alexander, 1847
Pastor Alexander saw in a day
much simpler than our own the need for family devotion time, yet
lamented that fewer and fewer households were taking it
seriously. In his classic book quoted from above, Pastor
Alexander wrote lovingly of the benefits of family devotions on
the individual preparing the devotions, the parents, the
children, the church, relatives, the commonwealth (state or
nation), and our posterity. I would commend this quick read,
classic to anyone who needs to be persuaded that family worship
or devotions is as needed today as it has been anytime in the
history of the church.
The reasons we don't and won't do
family devotions are as long and full as each day we have filled
with lesser things. The Westminster Confession of Faith, Chapter
XXI Of Religious Worship, and the Sabbath Day, paragraph VI
states “...but God is to be worshiped everywhere, in spirit and
truth; as, in private families daily, and in secret, each one by
himself…” The book of Church Order of the PCA in chapter 63,
“The Christian Life in the Home” states:
In addition to public worship it
is the duty of each person in secret and of every family in
private, to worship God....Family worship, which should be
observed by every family consists in prayer, reading the
Scriptures and singing praises or in some briefer form of
outspoken recognition of God....Parents should instruct their
children in the Word of God and in the principles of our holy
religion. The reading of devotional literature should be
encouraged and every proper opportunity should be embraced for
religious instruction.
Our church's fathers of the faith
have recognized for years the necessity to build the family
around devotions or family worship time. The great Presbyterian
preacher of the eighteenth century, Jonathan Edwards, called
each Christian home a “little church” as each father is a pastor
to that small congregation within the greater church. To ensure
our children see living examples of vibrant faith from the
parents they must see it more than once a week on Sunday. As a
part of elder visits to homes, one of the most probing (and
embarrassing) questions to help determine if a family is growing
in faith and in knowledge of Christ is to ask the parents about
their private (quiet time) and family devotions. If there is
nothing from Monday morning to Saturday night, the church is
left with precious little time in Sunday school and worship to
fill the spiritual void of a week of confrontation with the
fallen world and our fallen natures.
So how does one become motivated
to have, as Charles Spurgeon would say, “the want to, to want
to.” I remember as a younger Ruling Elder in a Presbyterian
church telling people on my elder shepherding list, that they
should make family devotions a real priority in their families.
If a member had the courage and perception to ask me how I did
it for my young and growing family, they would hear a
convoluted, “do what I say rather than what I do.” Yes, it was a
high priority in my family that never got done. Of course, I
could jog, read mountains of magazines (this was pre-internet
days) and have lots of other mediocre excuses for not doing what
I was trying to tell them was foundational to Christian living
in the home.
PRIORITIES ARE WHAT WE DO. If we
have time to check the weather report off Madagascar everyday on
our internet (or other important news) don't we have time to
take our families before the Throne of Grace? Don't say
something is a priority in your life and yet let the lesser
things crowd it out. Maybe for most of us a five-minute time of
family prayer is all the time we have, but that is a start to
something great.
Think about how quickly our
covenant children come and go out of our lives. My children are
now getting married and one by one they are leaving the home. It
seems like yesterday that I was changing their diapers! Yet, if
for around forty weeks out of the year (taking time off for
summer, vacations and other unforeseen events) we have a brief
family devotion, then in the twenty-odd years that God has
placed them in my home and charge they would have had
approximately 4000 opportunities to open the Word of God, to
sing God's praises and pray for theirs and other's needs. But
most important of all, my children would have an inheritance of
daily communion with God and all the benefits that flow from it.
They would have a family tradition that would come much easier
then it did to me, who had no family tradition of growing up
daily in the Scriptures and prayer.
A goal for family worship would
be prayer, reading the Word of God and a song of praise or
thanksgiving. Depending upon the age of the children, the
materials can go deeper or be quite simplistic.
Now the difficult question of
“how can this be done?” Fathers, you must take the lead. As in
most spiritual leadership questions, your wife is hoping you
will become motivated to take the lead. When you give up and
give it to her to accomplish it will be much less profitable and
your children will get the message, loud and clear, that family
devotions are a low and expendable priority.
As I said above, start with
something achievable. Decide if morning or evening would be
better; before or after breakfast or supper. There are lots of
helps available to guide us. Children's Ministry International (CMI,
www.childministry.com), of which I am the Director, has
published comprehensive devotional guides to take busy parents
through the Shorter Catechism of the Westminster Confession of
Faith with prayers, hymns/songs, Bible lessons, practical
suggestions and other helps to allow one to go through the
basics of our faith at their own pace. There are three small
booklets that easily fit into the Bible. The PCA bookstore has
other helps ranging from PCA Pastor Terry Johnson's excellent
book The Family Worship Book and Starr Meade's work on family
devotions and the Shorter Catechism.
Of course, there are lots other
guides to family devotions and maybe you would want to start by
reading a chapter from Proverbs or a Psalm daily. God has given
us 31 chapters in Proverbs so you have a chapter a day and you
will never get lost. If its the 21st of the month then read the
21st Proverb (or Psalm). See how God meets your efforts with
real insights and practical advice for the day ahead. Listen as
your wife and children share prayer requests. Write them down so
you have a testimony of answered prayer. The big issue is
whether this is really going to be a priority or let it be
crowded out by good but less eternal things.
As Pastor James Alexander said in
his classic book Thoughts On Family Worship, “Let other
heirlooms perish, but let us not deny to our offspring the
worship of that God who has been our dwelling-place in all
generations.”
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