What does
an author do when he writes an academic youth ministry book that
is critically acclaimed in youth ministry circles and sells
beyond all expectations? Simple. He writes another book on the
same topic only this time he joins with another expert in the
field and moves from the academic into the practical. Dr. Chap
Clark, Fuller Theological Seminary professor, made the
compelling case in his book Hurt: Inside the Mind of Today’s
Teenager that teenagers in today’s culture have been
systemically abandoned by the adults and institutions that have
traditionally cared for them. The resulting effect of this
abandonment is a generation of hurting, disenfranchised young
people who, somewhat ironically, are actually craving
relationships with the very same adults who have abandoned them.
Clark’s first book served as a wake up call for anyone who works
with or cares for teenagers, from parents to school teachers to
youth ministry workers. In the follow up book When Kids Hurt,
Dr. Clark joins with Steve Rabey, editor of YouthWorker
Journal, to further explain the ramifications of a
generation of teenagers who have been abandoned and offer some
well-seasoned advice on how adults should address these issues.
By his
own admission, Clark is a glass half-empty kind of guy when he
surveys the landscape of contemporary teenage culture. During
his research, he and Rabey see hurting, abandoned teenagers
around every corner. As a veteran youth worker, I am afraid that
I am in agreement with their conclusions about hurting
teenagers. If an adult will scratch just a little below the
surface, I am convinced that you will find teenagers
experiencing the affects of abandonment in the most unlikely
places…like sitting in the pews of your church this Sunday.
With
academic and athletic performance pressures, which conflict with
the message of unconditional love, and meaningful familial
relationships being replaced with material possessions or more
activities, teenagers are more stressed out than ever and
uncertain how to cope. The reality is that teenagers do not
exist and develop in a vacuum; something will always fill the
void.
The
authors do a good job in part two of the book helping adult
readers get a glimpse into the world of teenagers. Speaking of
mid-adolescent (9-12 grade) reasons for increasing sexual
behavior, the authors state in the chapter “Sexual but Not
Satisfied” that “adolescent sexuality, and perhaps all human
sexuality, is connected more to a desire for relational
connection and a safe place than to a physical, albeit sometimes
pleasurable, activity of the body.” In other words, teenage
sexual behavior has more to do with the desire for meaningful
relationships than it does with a physical act. As part of a
generation of youth pastors who stood and barked at students to
not have sex before marriage because it is sinful, these types
of sentiments convict me. Perhaps the better approach would be
for adults to first provide meaningful relationships and then to
help teenagers establish meaningful relationships with each
other. Although I have to admit that I will miss giving my
“fornicators go to hell” fire and brimstone youth talk, common
sense dictates that adults look not exclusively at the tip of
the iceberg. Rather, our focus should be on the portion of the
iceberg below the surface that sinks the ship, because right now
many teenagers in our midst are sinking.
When
Kids Hurt is a solid book
full of helpful insights from the authors and the other
contributors who add commentary in each chapter. I am reluctant
to label this a youth ministry book because youth ministry books
are too easily written off in the PCA as “lesser than” theology,
counseling, or church history books; and this book deserves
careful consideration from adults who are charged with the
raising and discipling of teenagers. Whether or not one agrees
with every conclusion Clark and Rabey posits is unimportant.
What is vital is that this book be read by adults who are ready
to confess culpability for the abandonment of young people and
willing to move on and become the mentors and shepherds that
mid-adolescents need.
-
Danny Mitchell
Youth and Family Ministries
Coordinator |
Third
Quarter 2009 Book Review