Sometimes Christian men who are losing their battles with lust are looking for a quick and easy solution that will fit comfortably into their schedule. “Give me three steps for winning this battle for sexual purity and I will take them next Thursday afternoon at 3:00 and get this problem solved.” But instant solutions to spiritual problems simply don’t exist.
Unlike the other sub-groups in the church (children, teens, college kids, singles, women) most men are not motivated to come to church activities because they want to be with their friends. Kids and teens are often bored and want to hang out with their church friends. Singles want to find a mate. Women are naturally motivated to connect with other women. But men’s hard wiring takes us in the opposite direction
Reliable studies indicate that over half of the Christian men in America have a major struggle with the pull of temptation to look at pornography. As Reformed believers, we understand that the only answer to this struggle is the power of the gospel to transform our hearts. We understand that the Biblical approach to the battle with lust is heart transformation, not just superficial behavior modification.
To build a sustainable ministry to men, you’ll need a solid foundation. That foundation starts with your focus. Discipleship is the portal priority through which all the other priorities of the church can be achieved. Only by moving through the discipleship gateway can people truly affect their church and their church affect them.
Surveys among Christian men routinely indicate that the temptation they struggle with the most is sexual lust. Long-term success in battling this temptation does not come in an easy three step formula. If overcoming sexual impurity were that easy, men would take those three steps and this would not be the huge problem among Christian men that it is.
Making disciples is all about taking men who don’t know Christ and helping them become mature, passionate followers of Jesus. This journey can be represented by a continuum: Men who need Christ >>>>>>>> Mature Disciples
Every man in your church can be placed somewhere on the continuum and that determines the offerings that will appeal to him. As a man matures in his faith, he will move farther down the continuum.
Since our sexuality is so deeply rooted in us, this redemption can take a very long time. There are no simplistic answers or easy steps to sexual purity. Such purity is the result of our growth in holiness, what is called our sanctification. That is why real sexual purity only comes from the Biblical growth process of repentance, faith, and obedience.
A man is hard to disciple. Men are busy, tired, over-committed, and struggling with sins they don’t want to talk about. Unlike women, singles, teenagers, and children, they will not show up at church just because they like to be together. Any event for men has to have high value to them. Otherwise, they will not come to it on any kind of regular basis.
You’ve got men, you’ve got a church. Add a testimony, some pancakes, and prayer and – poof! A men’s ministry. Right? Not necessarily. This book is based on over 30 years of combined ministry experience, of training classes at the Leadership Training Center and thousands of interactions with men’s ministry leaders. Read excerpts…
It is sometimes thought that Jesus was adding something new to the prohibitions of the Law when he commanded us not to lust after another man’s wife. But, in fact, this prohibition is in the Decalogue, itself. The tenth commandment prohibits coveting our neighbor’s wife and the Hebrew word for covet is also translated lust after. The same is true in the New Testament. EPITHUMEO, which means literally, over-desire, is translated both as lusting and coveting.