A. Because we are failing to disciple men effectively.
Studies show that for every ten men in the average church:
- 9 will have kids who leave the church
- 8 will not find their jobs satisfying
- 6 will pay monthly minimum on credit cards
- 5 have a major problem with pornography
- 4 will get divorced affecting 1,000,000 children each year
- Only 1 will have a biblical worldview
- All 10 will struggle to balance family & work
(Statistics cited by Man In the Mirror)
In the PCA we may be doing a little better than the average church, but not much! Most of our men don’t even have a daily quiet time, much less delight their hearts in the Lord. Few have thought through what it means to love their wife as Christ loves the church, much less are they regularly focused on meeting the needs of her heart or on applying I Cor.13:4-8 to loving her. Most men have no plan for discipling their kids or much of a clue what it means to be the spiritual leaders in their homes. Fewer than 10% are actively seeking to share their faith with non-believing friends, relatives, and work associates, etc. The bar is very low.
B. Because if you help men get it right, everybody wins.
When we think covenantally, we realize that God has assigned men a strategic position of influence in the family, church, and society. He has designed our wives to be responders, and our children to have many needs that we must meet as their fathers. PCA author Pat Morley helps us see the strategic role assigned to men when he writes:
“Can you think of any way the WORLD can be made right unless the CHURCH is made right. Can you think of any way the CHURCH can be made right unless FAMILIES are made right. Can you think of any way FAMILIES can be made right unless MARRIAGES are made right. Can you think of any way MARRIAGES can be made right unless MEN are made right. Can you think of anything that has more potential to change the world than reaching MEN?”
C. Because Jesus built his church by discipling men.
Jesus was radical in his day because he treated women and children with great dignity. But he built the foundation of his church by investing heavily in 11 men. Today’s church is completely upside down in its approach. Resources are allocated and staff is added for children’s ministry, youth ministry, college ministry, singles ministry, women’s ministry, even nursery ministry before resources are invested in men’s ministry. These priorities would appear to be the exact opposite of our Lord’s. So, why should we be surprised that the church is in such bad condition?
Research cited by Focus on the Family shows that when a mother comes to faith in Christ, the rest of the family follows her example 17% of the time.
When a father comes to faith in Christ, the rest of the family follows his example 93% of the time.